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Coco presents: HOW TO: Making the Australian 'billy'

Discussion in 'Hall of Fame' started by Coco the Vageater, Dec 7, 2016.

  1. Coco the Vageater

    Coco the Vageater

    Dec 7, 2016 I am the Vageater

    Hello members of S80, it excites me to finally give you my guide on how you can make your own little piece of Australian culture, from any part of the world.

    Before we start: List of things you'll need
    -Gatorade bottle
    (major key here, is to make sure it's a regular gatorade bottle, they work the best and are most efficient at pulling cones. MAJOR KEY - DO NOT POWERADE, THEY ARE DOGSHIT NON-DURABLE PLASTIC AND FUCKS UP MAJOR IF YOU TRY IT)
    -Garden hose
    (major key for this part is instead of using a bit of hose you find, go on a thrilling adventure to the neighbours house and f--k their house up completely for your 3 inches of hose)
    -cone piece
    (if you don't have access to a cone piece, make sure you have an empty soft drink can handy and i'll explain how to make one)
    -a lighter
    FOREWARNING: I'm currently sick IRL and it's pissing down rain so I don't really wanna go get the specific gatorade bottle and neighbours garden hose right now. I'll be using what I have on hand, so i will be improvising a little but that's nothing abnormal for a bong-smith like myself. (I will also be showing my actual billy as "heres one I prepared earlier" so you'll all still know exactly what you're doing when it comes your turn to make a billy. But basically i substituted the gatorade bottle for a bigger powerade one (don't do this, they are shit. but it's bigger so i can take pics easier and the step by steps will be more easy to see.

    CREATING THE BILLY STEP 1: Preparing the bottle
    basically you're gonna get your empty Gatorade bottle and poke a hole about 1/4th of the way up from the bottom, for the hose. then poke another small hole for the shotgun - wherever you please, try holding the billy and seeing where your thumb rests naturally, usually that's where i put my shotgun hole.
    (If you fucked this part up, congrats you're not Australian and f--k off you gigantic retard)

    CREATING THE BILLY STEP 2: Inserting the hose
    Next step in preparing the bottle is difficult. and there's a chance you'll just f--k it up because fire and melted plastic has so many variables. Basically what you wanna do is get a lighter and melt the hole for the hose, bigger. the best way to imagine this is, the hole for the hose has to be some tight virgin c-nt, so when the BBC hose goes in it either stretches the hole, or you force the hose in it, making sure it's 100% air tight. This is the major key.
    if it's not air tight just stop what you're doing and don't even f--king worry, theres no salvaging it unless you wanna get a f--k ton of blu tac and start placing that around the hose so your masterpiece looks like some bogan trash.

    (pic is what it should roughly look like so far. (though no water yet and not used) This is my m8's billy and I will continue tutorial with this as i'm sick and low on resources)

    CREATING THE BILLY STEP 3: Inserting Cone Piece into the hose
    Pretty self explanatory, just jam the f--ker into the hose. If hose is too big (lol what a f--king retard) buy a bigger cone piece. If cone piece is too big, all good, melt the top of the hose and force it in, extra air-tight-ness boys.
    CREATING THE BILLY STEP 4: add water and ya done c-nt
    if you don't know how to pour water in it kys. once you put the water in its ready to go. you are now ready to start partaking in the Australian Cultural past time of Pumping Billies.
    You probably wanna make a new one every two or so weeks depending on how much use it gets and for the love of f--king god rinse it out and change the water AT THE VERY FUCKEN LEAST once per day. This one is about a week and a half old and I rinsed it + changed the water approximately 10 hours ago, before I went to bed.

    Thanks for reading my guide and be sure to Like, Comment and subscr- f--k i mean post pics of your billies when you have a crack at making them cunts :coco:
    BigCountry, Ben, Owl 2034 and 10 others like this.

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