Feb 14, 2017

\
Tons of shitposting. I was basically immature and stupid and I put it to overdrive by breaking the rules and making illogical posts that had no sense and were 100% autistic.

I prefer to bury it because there are still 1-2 places out there filled with losers who can't let go and use me as an example even though I haven't bothered them for 2 years now. On one of these places, I'm basically their version of Narsh.

 

Feb 14, 2017

We all post stupid s--- when we first start on forums bro

My first thread on Rapbasement was " y wasn't I'll Be d---ed the next d12 music video"

 

Feb 14, 2017

I posted stupid s--- since 2002 to present, not as much stupid s--- as I did before but I make a lot of stupid decisions and say a lot of stupid words.

I don't really feel bad for it, as you said before; everybody says stupid s--- starting out.

 

Feb 14, 2017

i've been in a really bad rut the past... well, couple years or so lol

but it's gotten worse lately, had another breakdown last night.

and my dreams... ffs. my dreams are just all over the place and chaotic/fast paced and just way too much happening in them in general, they've also gotten more vivid and they seem to last forever (like it feels like days at a time go by inside the dreams), and so when i wake up im exhausted like i really lived through the dreams, and I've also been waking up drenched in swear almost every single night.

 

Feb 14, 2017

what was that sleeper pill thing you suggested to me? i forgot the name, tryptamazine or similar to that?
i've been getting less and less sleep lately and it's starting to f--- me off big time.

 

Feb 14, 2017

Hard to believe

 

Feb 14, 2017

Mirtazapine. It's actually an anti-depressant but sleep and hunger are big side effects

 

Feb 14, 2017

It's only been 15 years... You'll get the hang of it sooner or later.

 

Feb 14, 2017

This may sound random but have you ever smoked weed? If it's something you've enjoyed in the past at some point, I might recommend it for your dream situation cuz I never remember my dreams when I'm smoking and sleep just fine, then when I stop I have crazy intense dreams sort of like you described.

 

Feb 14, 2017

yeah that's the one and it makes you more hungry most of the time right? im trying to get better/more reliable structure in life and my appetite has gone to s--- and my sleep pattern is just r-----ed. Like i've tried "natural" solutions or whatever, like excercise more, drink more water, dont look at phone before sleep all that s--- but nothing really works

 

Feb 14, 2017

Yeah it'll make you hungry and sleepy but since it's an older type anti depressant the doctor might start you on the newer types first to see if they work but the new ones don't have those side effects. You'd have to really drive the point home about insomnia and lack of appetite but also say you're depressed. Mirtazapine isn't an abusive drug but doctors just don't like prescribing old s---

 

Feb 14, 2017

awesome. i'm gonna go to a doctor soon and sorta lay it out i'll say a top psych in the gold coast suggested it. I'll let you know what they say after i've gone.

also a doctor can give like 1 month script, then i have to get a recommendation from a psych if i want more, something like that right?

 

Feb 14, 2017

It's only an S4 class drug so you it doesn't require a psychiatrist like benzos do

In fact I'd try get it from a GP instead since GPS know f--- all about psychiatric issues whereas a psychiatrist might start you on a bunch of different meds before settling for mirtazapine

Idk how much you're able to lie but if they try to put you on ssri/snri's tell them you've tried them and they didn't work

 

Feb 14, 2017

f--- yeah mad. Was kinda expecting some massive f--- around, but if i can just see a GP then it should be piss easy.

if i google a couple ssri/snri names and stuff before hand i'll be able to lie easily. I also don't want ssri's cause f--- taking something that works like 2 weeks later lol. cheers for the info, much appreciated

 

Feb 14, 2017

I actually can't smoke.

I tried it a lot in the past few years because of my anxiety and it actually makes it way way worse so I've had to steer clear of it completely.

 

Feb 14, 2017

Life gets boring when it is going good.

 

Feb 14, 2017

d---, sorry man. Yeah I knew others that had that same issue with weed and anxiety. Hope you find something that works.

 

Feb 14, 2017

Tried edibles. It's an alternative to smoking...

I never tried it because it's not as strong as smoking but it has a decent amount of THC.

 

Feb 14, 2017

 

Feb 14, 2017

if the high is at all like smoking then it's a big no go still