Sep 29, 2017 I realized a long time ago that the only thing worse than death is r--- so if you threaten to r--- the b---- she won't k--- you
Sep 29, 2017 my 2nd job at home depot there was this old chinese dude wit a limp called jerry hung that always came in yelling at my manager cus his s--- wasnt ready for pick up so they called me on the radio when i had first got there to help him out. when i got there manager was helping sumone else and he just pointed at the chinese dude and said "he's Hung" i said i can tell by the way he's walking. the customer cracked up laughing and the manager just stood there trying to keep a straight face nodding his head.
Sep 29, 2017 A couple years ago I was working in retail and we had to wheel these ladder/trolley things for getting to the top shelf and I had loads of pet food stacked on the storage bit so I couldn’t really see too much Long story short I ran over this elderly ladies ankle but she must’ve had a prosthetic leg because she didn’t even f---ing realise and was wondering why I was apologising so much
Sep 29, 2017 I fell from My chair, and the place was really quiet...Everybody stood up and looked at me.
Sep 29, 2017 Every once in a while I look down from a skyscraper in Brisbane's cbd and think to myself the other side can't be worse
Sep 29, 2017 YO THIS IS CRAZY So we had just bought a new coffee jug, one of those plastic ones that keeps it hot w a handle and a closing button thing. like this: So the night b4 i had been working late and p much filled it w coffee, but being hi af i completely forgot about it. So the next day im like "well im not gnna waste all this coffee, and its still warm ish", so i decide to add sugar and milk 2 make iced coffee. I pour in the sugar and carefully stir around in it. All of a sudden the thing f---ing EXPLODES. It blew up so hard that it sounded like some1 fired off a shotgun, and the inner porcelain chamber keeping the coffee itself broke into a thousand pieces, effectively working as grenade shrapnel. If a kid was standing beside me hed literally be blind rn. Theres coffee & shrapnel f---ing EVERYWHERE in the kitchen area and im wearing all white skinnies and theyre f---ing ruined!! Im just standing there like f--- i have a meeting at 5pm!! So i spend 2 hours cleaning the entire thing, have to go home (30 minute ride both ways) just to change pants. The day after i take the shrapnel and receipt down to the store where i bought it, to warn them about it and get a return. Now idk wtf is soo f---ing funny about "hi my coffee jug exploded", but none of them would believe me and it was a chain of ppl bringing their superior until the store manager just came and laughed at me. He then told me to mail everything as well as pictures as a case to their customer service. I put it off for like 2 weeks bc i didnt have time and never got anything back for it, and since they didnt believe me there might be some blind kids running around rn. Heres pics of the incident:
Sep 29, 2017 Good thread idea. Years ago I worked in a bottling company. During the summer the heat level got really high and there was no air conditioning. So they just put some fans around so we could have a cool breeze. Often when I had to fart i did it right in front of the fan. And i'm talking about those silent, morning after drinking, foul smelling farts. Seeing my collegues faces was pricless. I could never contain my laughter. A friend that I worked with did it too. It got to the point that it wasn't really funny anymore. Each time one of us stopped in front of the fan for a couple of seconds, we knew what was going on.
Sep 30, 2017 I run a bar and we once had a batch of Prosecco that th cork popped at the slightest of touches. I opened one once and the cork flew about 20 meters and landed perfectly in a girl, on a dates, low cut top. Perfectly stuck between her t-ts! Luckily she found it hilarious.
