Serious Mental health issues

Started by theg, Oct 31, 2015, in Life Add to Reading List

  1. theg
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    theg got that pma

    Oct 31, 2015
    I know I usually just f--- around on here a lot but I'm seriously lost and dont know what the f--- to do. We've known each other for 16 years. He's been my best friend for at least 9 of those years. I think it's safe to say I know him pretty well. He's not the type of person to open up to anyone about problems he's having and prefers to deal with things on his own. Recently he's started texting me stuff. He's always been one to joke about things like suicide as a joke like "welp im going to go k--- myself" after getting embarrassed or other i guess the word would be taboo topics. A lot of times we just text eachother complete lies to see if we can trick the other into believing it. Like stupid s--- like I'll text him and say something like "Holy f--- I was driving and a car swerved into my lane, it almost hit me and I honked at it and he freaked out and went into a ditch" then when he asks if I'm serious I'd just say no. It's not a "joke" but it's just the stupid nonsense we get on with.

    Anyway recently he's texted me that he's manic depressive. This is really strange for him and I didn't know if this was a lie/joke but I said "man you need to talk to somebody about it" and then he changed the subject and I forgot about it.

    Last week I was drinking with another friend and I texted him a few lines from Jump man for some reason. He replied with "I'm running away man". I didn't know what to say to that and I thought he was joking or was going to lead into one of our bs things we do, so I replied with "Is it really running away at 22 tho". He said he was going to just pack up and leave one night and not come back. It was fine and I kept drinking. When I woke up the next day I completely forgot all of this and didnt even think to check my texts from the night before. Turns out he said he was going to go to a camp ground and said "The mountains are high up there."

    There were a few more days of nothing out of the ordinary and he then brought up the trip again and said "this will be the last place I visit." I didnt like the sound of that but like I said, he's said weird s--- like this before and he's gone as far as to write entire 2-3 page poems just to make me say "what the f---" when i found them.

    I told him jokingly that I was sending everything weird like that to the police. He didn't react the way I expected. I don't know what I expected but he replied with "are you serious? that's kind of pointless. I think you misunderstand. I'm just going camping :)" This worried me but again I thought it was a joke because he never went on the trip when he said he was going to and he never brought up anything like that again.

    Until yesterday. Or the day before. I dont know anymore. I haven't slept in 3 days. It was wednesday morning I think at about 3. He sent me a video of his leg for some reason. It was shaking uncontrollably. He said he wasn't making it do that and I believed him because the tone of his voice was nothing I'd ever heard from him before. he sounded like he was seriously terrified. I've never seen this guy as much as flinch before, even at stupid s--- like jump scares. Hes got nerves of f---ing steel. But his voice was quivering and it was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever had to see. He said he didnt know what the f--- was happening to him and he didnt feel like himself. I texted him when I woke up and said what the f--- is it still going on? he said he didnt feel like himself but he hadn't slept in 6 days (that was the day he talked about the "camping trip") and the fact that his exams were over today and he thought he was just stressed.

    We talked for a little bit then he said it again out of nowhere. "I was supposed to go on a trip this weekend." I said "oh you didn't go after?" he replied with "no, i'm planning the perfect route." I asked why he was going. He replied with "I don't think I'm going to tell anyone why. I think you know but I don't want to type it." I asked him "But why man" because I was humoring the fact that he may be serious about suicide. He misunderstood what I meant and thought I was asking why he didn't want to type it. He said it was because of when I jokingly said that I was sending his s--- to the police. That hit me like a brick f---ing wall. I don't know why. It was a major red flag as to him being serious about it. I can't explain it. I guess because of the fact that he genuinely remembered that I said I was doing that and he was actually fearful to type the word suicide. I typed the longest, most sincere f---ing text I've ever written in my whole f---ing life. I think it was just over 25k characters. It f---ing hurt to write. He didn't reply.

    I didn't know what to do. He's not close with his family and our group of friends growing up kind of dissipated. We still talk about every day but we only hang once, maybe twice a week now a days since high school ended. I don't know who his other friends are. I didn't know what to do. I left immediately and started going to our old friends houses knocking on doors. No answers. There was one friend who I was closer with than the rest, but I still haven't talked to him in 5 years. I know he was my suicidal friend's closest friend. He doesn't have facebook or twitter. The cell phone number I had for him from back then wasn't in service anymore. The friend that I was concerned about actually pointed the house out to me a month or two ago. he told me that's where our old friend was living now. I knocked on his door but there was no answer. I scribbled out a note with my phone number saying if this was the house where he was living, I need him to contact me right away.

    Luckily it was his house. I got a call a few hours later. It was bitter sweet to talk to him again. It was great to see an old friend but the circumstances were f----- up. He still talks to my friend regularly. He had no idea about the texts and was blown the f--- away. He didn't see it coming. After hours of discussion we decided to call the suicide help line. The told us our only real option here was to go to the police or try and handle it ourselves and wind up regretting it. We went to the police. We got there at about 11:30-12:00. We talked for hours. We got out of the station at about 2-2:30 this morning. We had a plan to get my friend to go to the guy's house that I left a note at. There he would be assessed by a mobile crisis unit sent by the mental health hospital here, but the staff only works from 11-11 so we'd have to wait for the next day. Neither of us could sleep because we were so f---ing worried about him making a premature move and leaving that night before we had a chance to have him assessed. They explained they'd assess him and if need be, they'd forcefully take him into care to keep him from harming himself.

    Well he didn't answer his phone. We didn't want to send the team directly to his house. We wanted to spare him any embarrassment from family or neighbours finding out. we wanted to make this as painless as possible to hopefully increase the chance of him accepting the help. It was out of our hands once he didn't answer the call we sent to try and get him to my friends house. The police took over fully and went directly to his house. They spoke to his father which I specifically requested they not do. They did it right there in his house which I specifically requested they not do. My friend is no idiot. he knew what was going on and he knew what to do. He played it completely calm and told them the texts were simply jokes that were misunderstood. He said he wasn't serious and he would never even entertain the thought of seriously hurting himself.

    They said he wasn't a risk to himself and they let him go.

    How the f--- are you going to have someone say "This will be the last place I visit. I'm not coming back alive." and let them f---ing go. Apparently all you have to f---ing do in a suicidal situation is simply act calm and tell the police and MENTAL f---ing HEALTH PROFESSIONALS that "No I'm ok.". Then you're free to do what the f--- ever.

    I don't even know what to do or say right now. I dont know what this thread is about. I just feel completely numb for the first time in years. And they f---ing wonder why there's so many suicides. People cry out for help then they completely disregard them when they say "never mind i was kidding". this is a f---ing joke. They said to let them know if he repeats any suicidal threats. Since they were just at his house I'm not expecting any more threats. I'm expecting fulfillments. There's nothing more I can do. This is f----- up.
     
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  2. Oldboy
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    Oldboy Administrator

    Oct 31, 2015
    golf?
     
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  3. theg
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    theg got that pma

    Oct 31, 2015
    i dont even know if any of this is coherent or makes any sense I haven't slept since wednesday but i dont care right now i just needed to get this s--- out of my head
     
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  4. theg
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    theg got that pma

    Oct 31, 2015
    no
     
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  5. Oldboy
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    Oldboy Administrator

    Oct 31, 2015
    actually now that i read more of op, that wasnt nice to say
     
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  6. Oldboy
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    Oldboy Administrator

    Oct 31, 2015
    so can someone help him pls
     
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  7. theg
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    theg got that pma

    Oct 31, 2015
    theres no more help
    i can't do anything
    the police said to monitor his texts and if he sends anything else that sounds like a threat then to contact them and they'll take him
    what i don't get is why they think my friend is an idiot
    i don't understand why they think that after I called them in the first place, he'd be stupid enough to send another suicidal text
    this is the f---ing worst it's like watching someone die of cancer
    you know it's coming and you cant do anything about it. i can't make him get the help he needs and he he won't do it on his own.
     
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  8. theg
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    theg got that pma

    Oct 31, 2015
    not to mention i specifically asked them to make sure NOT TO f---ing DO THIS AT HIS HOME
    NOT TO DO THIS IN FRONT OF HIS FAMILY
    NOT TO AMBUSH HIM WITH UNIFORMED POLICE OFFICERS
    I said to them "If he feels embarrassed, or like his family knows he has a problem, HE WILL NOT AGREE TO TREATMENT." "We NEED to do this discreetly" "This can't happen at his home. HE WILL NOT ACCEPT THE HELP IF IT'S MADE A SPECTACLE OF."

    Guess what. The did it at his home. The did it infront of his family. They made a spectacle of it. They showed up in marked police cruisers. They did it at his house. He never stood a f---ing chance.

    they might as well have given him a f---ing loaded gun and gotten it over with because I can't call them back unless he gives me more signs which he sure as s--- won't do after today, because he knows that im willing to go there
     
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  9. mow
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    mow long live flippa

    Oct 31, 2015
    I know for a fact that this kind of situations is really, really hard. I can't really help you but you know him very well. I know he doesn't feel like he is the same person he used to, but he is.
    I know it's going to be really hard, but i think you should try to talk to him face to face, do your best.
     
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  10. OJ Some Pulp
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    OJ Some Pulp OJ Some Pulp

    Oct 31, 2015
    Yeah its f----- up that cops think they know a situation better than the ppl in it and will handle it their way rather than what is logically requested. That part pissed me off. Idiots
     
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  11. Flacko
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    Flacko Too Blessed To Be Humble

    Oct 31, 2015
    TLDR
     
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  12. theg
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    theg got that pma

    Oct 31, 2015
    you could have saved yourself the trouble of posting in here imo tbh fam
     
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  13. Lamont
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    Oct 31, 2015
    f----- up, dont really know what to say man. ive been in similar situations, but the difference is that i wasn't proactive enough to call the cops, in fear that it may ruin my relationship with my friend. i cant lie i got kind of upset reading the entire OP because my friend gave me some signs like this and i didnt do anything about it.

    i guess keep talking to him
     
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  14. theg
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    theg got that pma

    Oct 31, 2015
    i just want to clarify

    i'm not looking for help or advice here. there's literally nothing left I can do outside of hoping he changes his mind. he's never ever been the type of person to be persuaded. of anything. f---, you can't even get this guy to change his mind on what movie to go see. not even as a kid. he's not going to change his mind on this with outside influence. It's not going to stop me from trying my hardest but inside i know that it's worthless. i'm just waiting now for the inevitable text I'm going to get that he was found dead in a few days or maybe weeks if we're lucky and he holds out long enough. i cant even believe im writing this.

    i just want my best friend back man:to:
     
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  15. Lamont
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    Oct 31, 2015
    im sorry man
     
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  16. JMG
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    JMG Teflon

    Oct 31, 2015
    you are the worst poster on this site btw

    and @theg his family should be to admit him though right? have you tried to talk to them?
     
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  17. theg
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    theg got that pma

    Oct 31, 2015
    he's not a minor, it's completely up to him whether he goes or not. if he says he was joking I guess that's all he needs. We were trying to keep his family out of it because it would add to his stress. I know him too well to think going to his family would be a good idea. He'd be ashamed and embarrassed, and that would have completely destroyed any chance of him accepting the help. Unfortunately the cops took it upon themselves to approach his home in two marked police cruisers and talked to his father before they had their talk with him. It's all out in the open now and I think if anything it's made it worse. I hope with everything in me that he changes his mind but i just dont think he will.
     
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  18. reservoirGod
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    reservoirGod reckless adventurer.

    Oct 31, 2015
    I hope you get well, @Golf.
     
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  19. rapmusik
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    Oct 31, 2015
    scary s--- man.. I hope he changes his mind.
     
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  20. theg
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    theg got that pma

    Oct 31, 2015
    witty, but koolo already tried that joke
     
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