Serious Single dad life (advice)

Started by Lamont, Feb 21, 2017, in Life Add to Reading List

  1. Lamont
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    Feb 21, 2017
    Anyone else here a single dad? It's starting to grind on me financially and emotionally.

    I broke up with my girl 2 years ago because of a religious dispute. She moved here from Somalia and never really spoke the best English. Most of our time together she was unemployed which is fine because she's a very good cook and just a very lovely person in general. Despite being an "atheist" (I suspect she wasn't actually an atheist tbh) she always seemed to be very spiritual and was starting to influence my daughter in weird ways. Sometimes my kid would regurgitate some garbage about god looking after her and some other BS that bothered me. I never felt comfortable with it. After 4 years she moved back in with her family in Somalia and left her daughter behind.

    I work long shifts in IT and so it's very difficult for me to have time to take care of my daughter. I ended up hiring a baby sitter and f--- it's expensive. I pay her 13 an hour for 4 days a week and it's starting to get difficult financially. She does a good job and my daughter likes her but it's not the most ideal situation. I'm worried that I'm not spending enough time with her.

    Anyway I guess this thread is an advice thread about what I can do about this. I'm sure there's gonna be some trolly answers but that's the nature of this site.
     
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    May 19, 2022
  2. lil uzi vert stan
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    Feb 21, 2017
    Can you find a job where you work remotely? Or maybe ask your family to watch your daughter? What's your salary?

    also, last question, i don't know details but why would you break up with the mother of your child over a religious difference? i know some stuff is incompatible but seems a tad petty no offense whatsoever ily
     
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  3. FLORIDA MAN
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    Feb 21, 2017
    Maybe you should have let your daughter choose what religious views she wants to believe. She's going to hear about God regardless if her mother tells her or not.
    Why are your views any better than hers? You deserve to struggle for being a d-ck
     
    May 19, 2022
  4. Lamont
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    Feb 21, 2017
    Couple things:

    My salary right now is 180k a year. I'm looking to get a raise soon. Working remotely would be good but not an option at the moment. My family lives out of state.

    The incompatible part is vital.. I am a staunch atheist, my girl said she was but she wasn't. The dishonesty part bothered me. There were pictures that she showed me of her in Somalia wearing Islamic garb and such, which was a red flag because I don't want any of that kind of influence on my kid. She would never criticize Islam, despite being an "atheist." There was some other stuff that wasn't very good - like her unemployment - but the religious part of it was a tipping point and I didn't want my daughter to have a f----- up view of the world. She's very impressionable.
     
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  5. lil uzi vert stan
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    Feb 21, 2017
    Are you f---ing kidding me? $13/hour for a babysitter.... if you *actually* make $180k/yr working IT you can afford full time daycare, dolt. Here in Boston it's approximately $4k/month, well within your affordability. You're either lying about some details or a joke at money management.

    Also the religious stuff is silly. don't be a d-ck.
     
    May 19, 2022
  6. reservoirGod
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    reservoirGod reckless adventurer.

    Feb 21, 2017
    Get a cute live in nanny..
     
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  7. Poohdini
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    Feb 21, 2017
    What kinda lifestyle you living that you're earning 180K and are complaining about paying a sitter??
     
    May 19, 2022
  8. reservoirGod
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    reservoirGod reckless adventurer.

    Feb 21, 2017
    You could drop the kid off at a firestation.
     
    May 19, 2022
  9. Lamont
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    Feb 21, 2017
    I would say you're wrong about that. 13/hr can add up extremely quick, raising a kid is expensive as h--- (even buying clothes, food, etc) The apartment I live in is expensive as h---. Paying off a car mortgage, expensive as h---. You're not really aware of all the costs of living.

    The religious stuff is not silly. Islam is not good. I didn't want that kind of influence. Very simple.
     
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  10. Worm
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    Worm Big Perm Big Worm

    Feb 21, 2017
    I think you can get welfare if you make under 181K so you should be good.
     
    May 19, 2022
  11. FLORIDA MAN
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    Feb 21, 2017
    You should be able to find a b---- making 180.they can smell that s---
     
    May 19, 2022
  12. Mano
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    Feb 21, 2017
    lol breh if you're earning $180k a year and can't afford $13/h for 4 days a week you're mismanaging your money and need to look at your budget. Also the religious thing, yea maybe she lied but that was it? lol. Why can't your raise her in a way where neither of you bring up religion and let her decide and ask the questions when she reaches that point where she gets curious about the stuff. And how well did you know her mother if her being a muslim comes as a surprise to you? She moved to another country for you so I assume you had to have known her pretty well and maybe even met her family?
     
    May 19, 2022
  13. Goldy
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    Feb 21, 2017
    first you listen to this campfire classic and then get back to me

    https://m.soundcloud.com/boof-radley/she-left-me-for-my-personal-trainer-prod-ibrahim

    shoutout @Boof Radley
     
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  14. Lamont
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    Feb 21, 2017
    No I never met her family. She didn't move here for me. I met her in a coffee shop and the religion thing didn't really come up until years later
     
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  15. Mano
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    Feb 21, 2017
    So what it comes down to is you were afraid your daughter would become a muslim?
     
    May 19, 2022
  16. Australia
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    Feb 21, 2017
    i don't get it, you earn 3.5-4k per week, but spending $400 a week on a babysitter is too much?
     
    May 19, 2022
  17. Lamont
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    Feb 21, 2017
    That was a big issue
    I have student debt and a car mortgage also
     
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  18. FLORIDA MAN
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    Feb 21, 2017
    Car mortgage? Did you buy a lambo?
     
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  19. Worm
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    Worm Big Perm Big Worm

    Feb 21, 2017
    I had a kid that was too expensive and was leaning Muslim, so I downloaded that LetGo app and sold her for $100

    Was thinking of buying one of those atheist asian babies when I save up more though.
     
    May 19, 2022
  20. FLORIDA MAN
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    Feb 21, 2017
    Oh nvm just realized shes Muslim. Good decision :emoji_thumbsup:
     
    May 19, 2022