Best Posts: Where does my respect lie?

  1. Worm
    Posts: 14,951
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    Location: New Jersey

    Worm Big Perm Big Worm

    Nov 6, 2018
    I think this whole thing would be resolved if you dated @Pizza Hut

    He's no longer a virgin
    He's not the jealous type
    He'll s--- your toes while you watch Netflix
     
    Mar 29, 2024
  2. aquaberryares
    Posts: 7,473
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    aquaberryares one time I made sex

    Nov 6, 2018
    Yea ur bf is obviously p---- no offense.
    Let me ask u one thing, does he take online quizzes to figure out his own political beliefs? Cus u might be dating @Michael Myers
     
    Mar 29, 2024
  3. M Solo
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    M Solo Fresh Outta London

    Nov 6, 2018


    This is pretty pathetic anyway you look at it. You're going out drinking with random dudes you barely know and you're wondering why your boyfriend doesn't like it?:what22::what22::lmaooo:

    I want to live in your reality. Also, you, along with the dudes in here white-knighting for you have villified and labeled your boyfriend insecure. What if he feels disrespected. I sure asf would because being in a relationship and going out drinking with people you barely know of the opposite sex is just that- disrespectful. Why do it? I mean look if you want to do that kind of s--- do it. But have some respect for yourself and your boyfriend and end your relationship first. Because these men absolutely aren't going out for drinks with you to be your friend. And based on your first paragraph and your reaction to his actions/inactions as your manager I've got a feeling you'd lose your s--- if he was doing what you were doing. Sorry if this is harsh but it's the truth.

    TLDR- @JMG hit the nail on the head.
     
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  4. Enigma
    Posts: 14,984
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    Enigma Civil liberties > Police safety

    Nov 5, 2018
    Your bf telling you who you can & can’t hang out with is already a red light. Him being insecure isn’t an excuse to control your life. If you guys are dating, he should trust you, period. As far as him being ok with dudes harassing you & other female employees, he sounds like a pretty s-----y manager (no offense lol). Like, yeah he should care that drunk idiots are harrassing you because you’re his gf but even if you weren’t, he should still care because he’s the manager. It’s his job to stand up for his employees — especially when it comes to something like harassment.
     
    Mar 29, 2024
  5. Mimi
    Posts: 3,392
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    Mimi the art of doing nothing

    Nov 6, 2018
    I mean, at least he'll come home with pizza every night. Cant argue with that
     
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    Mar 29, 2024
  6. OwI
    Posts: 17,220
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    OwI I was riding on a bike on a very late night

    Nov 6, 2018
    Enigma as usual tryna break homes smfh! I would suggest you to post this thread to your boyfriends ears directly and see what replies he comes up first! He might just not know your STRUGGLE!! Talk to him
     
    Mar 29, 2024
  7. Lil Squeed
    Posts: 24,190
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    Lil Squeed French Montana Stan

    Nov 6, 2018
    dump him, punch one of the creeps, and thot it up
     
    Mar 29, 2024
  8. Worm
    Posts: 14,951
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    Location: New Jersey

    Worm Big Perm Big Worm

    Nov 6, 2018
    having your bf as your boss is your first mistake. I used to work in a restaurant/bar so I get it, it's easy to meet someone in that industry, but you have to see that person EVERY day. There's no escaping it. Get in a fight and having to work a shift with them is terrible, not to mention he has authority over you. But the fact that he doesn't care if some pervert is harassing you because he doesn't want to lose his business tells you all you need to know where this is going

    Also disagree with everyone saying the bf is insecure you're going out with other guys. I mean he could be, depends on the situation. If you're hanging out with guys from work in a group setting or someone you grew up with that's totally fine. If you're getting random guys walking in the bar asking you to go out and grab a drink with them, then I can see the cause for concern (I've seen that hostel movie). No guy over 16 wants to be just friends with a girl unless they're gay or @dna hits

    but TLDR; your bf is a p----
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2018
    #7
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  9. Mimi
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    Mimi the art of doing nothing

    Nov 6, 2018
    Kinda did last night on shift, some younger dude/ in my peer group asked to kiss me while I was on shift, I said he could on my cheek, of course other staff around. But if the harassment is okay form the older creepy dudes then I'll welcome it from younger guys. Cant be discriminating and s--- right?
     
    Mar 29, 2024
  10. Michael Myers
    Posts: 40,813
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    Michael Myers Moderator

    Nov 7, 2018
    Oh absolutely. My ex and I also both had friends of the opposite sex. Which was fine. In general that should not be a problem if u trust eachother. Being possesive and controlling always works against you/ur relationship.

    But the situation where mimi and her bf/boss are in is kinda tricky I guess. It's hard for the guy to both please her and his (other) coworkers in this situation. Agree or disagree, I can understand his position is kinda s-----y.
     
    #36
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  11. Enigma
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    Enigma Civil liberties > Police safety

    Nov 7, 2018
    Yeah but like if you’re dating someone, shouldn’t you trust that person enough to not...you know...cheat on you lol. The need to micromanage your significant other is so toxic imo. If you feel the need to tell your SO who they can & cant hang out with because you’re afraid of what might happen, why are you even dating them?
     
    #35
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  12. DKC
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    DKC hank trill

    Nov 6, 2018
    I wouldn't fault anyone for being a little wary of their SO hanging out with a new friend of the opposite sex that they'd never met before—but I think there are clear boundaries that anyone in a stable relationship would know to follow.

    Yeah, I had an ex cheat on me so I understand where he's coming from—however at a certain point you need to work through that s--- and learn to let go or you're never going to have a fully trusting relationship with your SO. My (other, non-cheating) ex had male friends she hung out with in groups and one-on-one. I had female friends I hung out with both in groups and one-on-one. Stuff like that was never an issue for us. I think always helps if you meet your SO's new friends at some point, cuz it's not like she was hanging out with a bunch of dudes I'd never met before.

    And oof, yeah, drunken discussions about serious topics can easily turn bad. That's pretty f----- up his response was "just deal with it" imo. I'm far from qualified to give relationship advice (esp to people I've never met irl lol) but I think that's something that's just gonna fester and turn to resentment if it's not dealt with. It's also just...not OK.
     
    #20
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  13. Mimi
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    Mimi the art of doing nothing

    Nov 6, 2018
    - see on the one hand I understand where he is coming from because I wouldn't necessarily want him hanging out with other chicks that I didn't know. He does hang with colleagues who I think are a 'bad influence' but I do try to live by 'you do you boo'

    - The manager stance I agree with. I do not think it is right to let your female staff (and clients) be harassed, to be witness to it, and be okay with it.


    It's not 100% confirmed but pretty high likelihood that his ex of 8 years cheated on him
    And we kiiiind of discussed it the other night, I brought it up drunkenly which turned intro an argument and him basically telling me I was being childish and the way the locals are is just how it is and to deal with it. ( from what I remember)



    I am not hanging out with guys from work. Because we work together and live together I have tried to carve out a social group separate to the one at work that he socialises with to try to have some separation and independence (my psychs say you need that), so he doesn't know these dudes so I do understand where he is coming from in being cautious about me hanging out with other guys. But... I also feel that if he is is okay with me having to put up with old skeezy dudes then he should be fine with me taking control of my body and countering that with younger local dudes wanting to hang out if I feel comfortable doing that.
     
    #15
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  14. DKC
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    DKC hank trill

    Nov 5, 2018
    Yeah, pretty much what Enigma said.

    I don't know your bf obviously but like with most things in relationships I'd just be honest with him about the way you feel about both things, cuz it's definitely not OK to be sexually harassed at work and if you're in a relationship you should be able to trust your SO to hang with people of the opposite sex.

    And you never know, could be that something happened to him in a past relationship that makes him feel insecure about you hanging with new guy friends (though that still doesn't make that controlling nature OK, but by talking about it you might be able to work through it and figure out where it stems from).
     
    #6
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  15. Lil Squeed
    Posts: 24,190
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    Lil Squeed French Montana Stan

    Nov 5, 2018
    I feel like this scenario is more common than it should be tbh
     
    Mar 29, 2024