Nov 8, 2015

You sound like you're at that age when you start questioning everything. I've been there. Life can get to a breaking point, and at that breaking point you have a few choices. One of them is to give up. That's the harsh reality of it. You get told that life is whatever you make it, and even when you take the correct steps forward to achieve what you want, you will still get disappointed. This is something we all have to face. You know poverty, you know how it is to have nothing, to see what nothing does to a person. I'm just taking guesses here, but I think the reason you can threaten guys who can beat you up is because mentally, you are on a different level. They don't get struggle, at least that's what your sub conscious thinks. Since you're aware of how dumb it is to threaten people who can beat you up, I'm confident that you will have the same logical approach to suicide. Yeah, you'll threaten to do it, but you know that it would be dumb. Telling us your issues shows that you are on the right path, it isn't any different from fixing a car, you've found the problem, now you must find out how to fix it, and it isn't impossible. Spend some time with yourself or any friends you have left for awhile, come back to women when you're not stressed, suicidal and anxious.

I'll tell you this, as some side advice: Get a hobby. You listen to music, that's good, but it isn't enough all the time IMO. You should try to catch up in school if you're a bit behind. Exercise too, it builds your confidence, helps regulate your sleep schedule, and gives you a natural high.

Good luck bro.

 

Nov 8, 2015

You should go. You see yourself doing what he can do, or even be closing to doing what he can do, will make you feel like bobby big d-ck, you'll receive an instant boost in morale and confidence.

He can be your /fit/bro. To guide you along the path to becoming physically fit. You can ascend, thekid. You can become a man amongst boys.

Maybe it's because this s--- is in my rear view mirror, but if you get fit you'll have a better life, people may so other wise but they are wrong. Take that opportunity m8.

Edit: I wasn't talking necessarily about being overweight. It's not good to be a skinnyfat average pleb. I got into exercising when I was done HS, and I was just average, and when I went from average to in good shape, people treated me different. It was cool. I'm just skinny now because I can't be bothered to workout atm, just running.

 

Nov 8, 2015

 

Nov 8, 2015

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I don't really have any advice that I can give you that will be of much help. Do you possibly have access to a counsellor of some sort that you could discuss these things with and maybe seek advice from? I hope you feel better soon.

 

Nov 8, 2015

 

Nov 8, 2015

The ontological fallacy of expecting a light at the end of the tunnel, well, that's what the preacher sells, same as a shrink. See, the preacher, he encourages your capacity for illusion. Then he tells you it's a f---ing virtue. Always a buck to be had doing that, and it's such a desperate sense of entitlement, isn't it?

You see we all got what I call a life trap, a gene deep
certainty that things will be different... that you'll move to another city and meet the people that'll be the friends for the rest of your life... that you'll fall in love and be fulfilled... f---ing fulfillment... and closure whatever the f--- those two f---in' empty jars to hold this s--- storm. Nothing's ever fulfilled, not until the very end. and closure. Nothing is ever over.

I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware. Nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself - we are creatures that should not exist by natural law... We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self, that accretion of sensory experience and feelings, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody's nobody... I think the honorable thing for our species to do is to deny our programming. Stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction - one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.

Spoiler

 

Nov 8, 2015