Jan 7, 2016

As you guys know, I am a notorious Future hater. Yes, I think he’s a s-----y person and his music is the epitome of garbage. But today…today Future blessed me like he was truly one of the great Gods above us.


So I was at this party right. Just a whole lot of girls everywhere with the fattest of all cakes. I was hungry bruh. So I was trying to dance with a few girls, but everytime I grasped my palms around the thin waist, I got curved harder than Mia Khalifa did Drake. Harder than Maddie did Zach. Harder than Trixie Tang and Timmy Turner bruh.

It was shameful. All my boys laughed at me, even tho they weren’t getting any either. I looked around, no one was getting any. These girls were dry asf and was just dance with themselves.

So I sat there, salty asf just contemplating life and drinking Ginger Ale cause I was a Mick stan like that. I even contemplated hanging by the door with all the dudes that too nervous to do anything and come for the free food/drinks.

Then. I saw a flash of light, and a figure of a peanut head shaped lean induced trash rapper with dreadlocks came down in a white robe with a styrofoam cup in his hand. I looked at him, at this beautiful creature believing God has come down to take me and my boredom. The ghost like figure seemed to wink at me. Then vanished.

Half a second later I hear “Future, yea…DJ Esco!” and I look up to the sky. a Bass screams from the studio as I hear Future Hendrix yell “f--- up some commas”

I swear to God, automatically, my legs took a mind of its own and spread apart as a nice Latina booty seemed to teleport near my pelvis area. I felt the force of her booty gracefully touch my penis from inside my khakis. Her booty was that of a Goddess. It was shaped perfectly, and smelled like nice roses and a pasture of flowers. This is the type of booty to cure your cancer with one lick. This the type of booty that make a blind man able to see. This was the booty of all bootys.

Her booty vibrated swiftly over my d-ck moving as fast as a Dragon Ball Z fight. Moving as fast as Lee fighting Gaara. Up and down like a motor having a soul of its own




I looked into the sky to see this blessed figure smiling at me



Of course I smiled back



I was blessed with one of the best grinding sessions of my whole life. My penis is still erect to this day.

 

Jan 7, 2016

You still a b----

 

Jan 7, 2016

didnt read/reported

 

Jan 7, 2016

No wonder you ain't get booty, you got Khakis on wtf

 

Jan 7, 2016

GOAT

- DP

 

Jan 7, 2016

s---, the cargos

 

Jan 7, 2016

if u dont wear khaki cargos in 2016 u cannot talk to me about anything

 

Jan 7, 2016

Spoiler: at the party chillin

 

Jan 7, 2016

 

Jan 7, 2016

tfw jerked off to this