Apr 1, 2016

I need to re-address why The Monster is the worst f---ing Eminem song ever. It came on at work yesterday and pissed me off. This song is insulting, manufactured garbage; and while there have been a few tracks you could argue are less listenable, this one stands out to me the most infruriating from its very inception.

So lets start with the song itself.

The 'Monster inside you' angle is nothing new in hip hop or music in general, but it is a pretty effective way for an artist to address their darker thoughts. Slaughterhouse had a very similar song not too long before. It's a good fit for Eminem's persona, so there is certainly potential in the concept. Sadly he takes no risks to say anything fresh or interesting here. It's the same story: Fame sucks, lives in a bubble, fame made him a balloon 'cause his ego inflated etc. This is stuff we've heard before, delivered with more wit, more passion, several times over.

Part of the problem with Eminem's contribution is the song itself. I honestly don't know what tone the song is aiming for, other than 'chart single'. The beat is as generic as they come, corny and too light for the story. Em rides the beat at break-neck speed further diluting any weight the song thinks it has. His delivery is a problem not exclusive to this song, but it is a shining example as he stampedes through his verses and collides into the chorus. Oh and that chorus. Rihanna has the vocal and emotional range of a baked potato. The beat kicks in at full force as she wails and the whole thing morphs into something ugly. It's not an Eminem song. It's a Rihanna song. A bad Rihanna song,

Lets talk Bebe Rexha for a minute too. She wrote the demo for this song and it's pretty decent. There's more passion behind the lyrics, the verses are alright, and even the rhythm is different and slightly more interesting. Em and co essentially took a pop song with potential and boiled it down to its most soulless, processed, s-----y form. Congrats to all involved. I suppose that points to a larger problem I have with the track too, in its clinical and calculated construction. This isn't a song put together through passion. It is a product to sell albums, make money. That's why this awful song exists, why Rihanna is on there; h--- that's why it's on MMLP2 even though it has no place being there. It's music by commitee. I'm not naive enough to be surprised by this, but it still sucks to see something so brazenly cynical, and succeed.

This song f---ing sucks hard. It's horrifying to see it went over pretty well and will likely influence similar behavior in future. I'm tired of Eminem hopping on demo tracks with premade hooks. It doesn't work. I'm also tired of all the wasted potential. I mean that video man... it deserved better.

 

Apr 1, 2016

I can name at least 15 songs worse than this one

 

Apr 1, 2016

disagree

 

Apr 1, 2016

Where can I sign up bub

 

Apr 1, 2016

Even though Rihanna is featured and this song was made strictly for the radio purposes - It's a good song. Catchy beat, catchy hook and decent verses.

 

Apr 1, 2016

Not afraid is just as awful

 

Apr 1, 2016

The song is absolute s---