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Best Posts: Tinder

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Lucy #1

Jul 2, 2017

MeltyPlastic said

My Tinder story:
Last summer I went on vacation to Australia for two weeks. I was swiping on Tinder mostly looking for weed and friends. So I was mostly judging based on if it looked like they were stoners or might know some. I matched a really cute alt girl with pink hair. We talked and moved the convo to instagram, and met two days later just for lunch. We hit it off so we met for drinks the next night, and again on Friday. We ended up drinking at a park and I took her back to my hotel and we made out, watched cartoons and slept together.

From that night on, I basically spent all of my time hanging around with her, since I didnt have much of an itinerary or travel plans. In fact, I stayed at her flat for my entire second week there. We f----- that weekend and pretty much everyday after. We smoked a lot, took LSD and ate dank food every night, it was a dream. On my birthday, we decided to call it a relationship and date. A few days later, I had to leave.

Fast forward to March, she saved up enough money to move in with me to a new apartment in Tokyo. And today is our 11 month mark. I have Tinder to thank for the best thing ever happening to me, by complete chance, while in vacation in a country I had never been to before.
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i keep tellibg people Australia is the greatest country jn the world, thanks for showing unbiased proof of the greatness that is Australia

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JFK Bleach on my t-shirt

Jun 1, 2017

TimmyT said

its interesting how people's experiences can vary so wildly. you're saying that tinder p---- is very easy, yet many people (not just me) on the page of this thread have expressed that people on tinder are boring. LOOK AT THE DATES

now i'm not the least bit upset/bothered that this girl hasn't responded, i'm simply posting this to illustrate what i was saying in my last post--which is that they often just vanish. i don't care how good your "game" or conversation/banter skills are, you still have to get the girl to talk at least A LITTLE bit before you can meet or hook-up with them.

i talk to all these girls the exact same way. the difference in the ones i've been able to meet in person (only 4 or 5)--is that they actually held a conversation rather than just sending a small handful of messages and then just disappearing
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Stop worrying so much, holy s---

Last edited: Jun 1, 2017

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lil uzi vert stan

May 30, 2017

TimmyT said

its amazing how many attractive women are on tinder. i've met a small handful of tinder girls myself, but i haven't gotten any of them in bed. most of them flaked on me after our first meeting.

in my experience, for the most part, girls on tinder are boring. don't get me wrong, i don't expect them to send 445454 messages a day, i know people have lives. my point is, many girls on tinder will send a few messages and then just vanish---so a lot of times it doesn't lead to anything due to lack of communication.

its not a big deal to me though----its just interesting when you hear people say that tinder users are doing all this "hooking up". when i get on there.......i find it difficult to find a girl who will hold a conversation without vanishing into thin air
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happy bday btw lil tim

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JFK Bleach on my t-shirt

May 30, 2017

SHUDEYE said

fr anyone used bumble? That's started to blow up a fair bit here feels like people have switched to that
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Bumble is the much better option at this point. Tinder has practically devolved into POF.

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Oct 13, 2015
I'd like to nominate every one of @JFK posts in this thread for the HOF

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MTY VERY SHALLOW LISTENING
Sep 21, 2015

JFK said

As a Tinder vet, I've wanted to write this for a while.

JFK's thoughts on Tinder:

Probably my favorite app. It's entertainment.

The app gets a bad reputation for its hookup culture, but I truly think it's an extremely efficient way to meet people.

It can be used purely for entertainment purposes, to find your future spouse, or (gasp) hook up.

Everyone has romantic intent. It removes the friction of awkward interactions. It's easy to stand out.

People say claim the Yes/No action is superficial, but I can honestly learn more about a woman & her personality based on wittiness in responses, conversation skills, and ability to appear intelligent.

With moments, Tinder has gradated from a simple dating app to it's own social network.

Beware of extremely attractive girls who use Tinder to stroke their ego. These are my least favorite people on Tinder.

Tinder is different depending on location. Girls in Nashville were much more open to meeting right away than Kansas City.

I've gotten numbers just from using emojis. It's a fun game.

However, I hate getting phone numbers unless I want to seriously meet. I forget who these girls are if their pictures aren't next to our messages.

I'm best/most creative with Tindering after a few beers. Buzzed JFK is a casanova.

Roughly half of my Snapchat friends are Tinder girls. Snapchat is a great was to continue the conversation and mass message girls.

I've met some great people through Tinder.

JFK's Tinder tips (pre-match):

Be good looking.

Your first picture should be just of you. Semi-close up of your face. Don't look like a serial killer. 90% of the time, girls don't look at your profile or other photos. This one needs to count. Look f--king cute.

Other pictures should include any of the following: a full body shot, an athletic shot, a hobby, pictures with friends, pictures with other girls, picture in a suit/shirt & tie, picture with a dog. Don't include: picture with babies, picture with wife, drunk pictures, stupid photoshopped pictures, memes, etc. Each picture should convey a talking point and present the most attractive version of yourself.

Your bio should be short, but needs to hit a few points: You need to display high self worth while being witty at the same time. Maybe include your profession & location if it's something to be proud of. My bio is "I have both a savings account and a Netflix account. Design + KC".

If a girl messages me first (hardly ever, but I don't really give them a chance), it's either something about Netflix, my smile, or a funny picture I have with my friends in matching shirts. If a girl messages me "Hey how are you", it's a red flag. So boring.

Be selective. Don't swipe right on ugly or fat girls. You'll regret it later.

A girl's attractiveness level inversely correlates with her willingness to hook up.

A girl's attractiveness level directly correlates with your effort in standing out. Hot girls match with EVERY guy they swipe right on, and EVERY one of those guys is trying their hardest to get in her pants. Be creative.

30% of the accounts I see on Tinder are spam, report them and make Tinder a better place.

Beware of transexuals on Tinder. They don't always specify on their profile. DANGER!

Don't match with too many girls at once. It becomes overwhelming.

Don't abuse Tinder moments. I post one every couple of weeks and it's usually something cool I'm doing rather than a bathroom selfie.

Be good looking.

JFK's Tinder tips (post-match)

ALL girls are using Tinder for entertainment first and foremost. Your job is to entertain them above all else.

At all times, try to message her when she's online. It'll usually say "Active X minutes ago". Evening is also a good messaging time.

Message first. Almost zero girls start conversations.

DO NOT OPEN WITH "HEY" OR "HOW ARE YOU" OR "YOU'RE SO PRETTY"

Unless she has something great you can reference in her profile, find a good opener and stick to it. It should be short and creative. It should evoke a response. Maybe a question. Maybe a harsh statement. You should stand out.

"Let's elope" is my go-to opener. Gets a positive response nearly 100% of the time. From there, we usually plan our fake elopement and eventually graduate to real conversation. It's simple. It's harmless. It's entertaining. It's easy to respond to. It's creative without implying I spent too much effort on typing a paragraph. I've been told many times it's the best line they've ever received.

For the love of Yeezus, USE PROPER GRAMMAR AND SPELLING. Your intelligence level is literally measured by your ability to use there, their, and they're.

Don't use too many emojis, if any at all.

Keep the conversation light. Keep it playful. Poke jabs at her. Don't be a nice guy. Evoke responses. Put creativity into every message.

Keep your messages concise. Nobody has time to read a book.

Keep it sexual, but don't get too dirty either. Instead of sexual acts, I always suggest cuddling instead. Sex is implied. Always keep the sexual talk backhanded. "Fine, we can cuddle for a bit but I'm making a pillow wall between us". Instead of asking her to sleep with me, I tell her she can sleep on the couch or the porch. Being forward/oversexualizing is better than not bringing it up, but too crazy will scare half your matches off. Doing it backhanded covers both sides and helps you figure out what kind of girl you're dealing with.

Make her sell herself to you.

Don't be hypnotized by attractiveness. If she sucks at messaging, she probably sucks in real life.

Don't send too many messages in a row. If she isn't responding, be patient. Nothing worse than a needy Tinderer.

Good conversation topics: Your future wedding, Her job, Your job as a "professional underwear model", Netflix, Reason they're on Tinder, Alcohol, Creating a fake reason as to why you met, etc.

Instead of asking her boring interview questions, start making assumptions. "You look like a nurse", "You don't look like you're from around here", "Do you live near downtown?". This gives you multiple things to talk about with each question.

If she hasn't responded in a week, I usually say "Well you really dropped the ball on this conversation", or "You missed our flight" (if we were talking elopement earlier).

Responding to moments with a simple heart-eyes emoji can work wonders.

If you absolutely want to meet, get her number quickly. Simply say "3135553011 Tinder sucks, text me". Graduating from Tinder to her digits is a big step. You're not longer a random dude from Tinder. You're in her life. You can also use their number to become Snapchat or Facebook friends.

I hardly EVER give out my number first. It's a little needy. I enjoy using Tinder to message unless I really want to meet. When they offer their number, I always say "You can expect a text within 3-5 business days". When I text them I say "Good news, your text has been delivered early"

Use Snapchat to your advantage.

A technique I've fell into is chatting A LOT immediately after matching, then suddenly becoming more and more unavailable after getting their number. They usually start begging to meet me. I don't really do this on purpose, I just lose interest quickly and don't have much time to actually take these girls out.

When you do ask them out, suggest drinks. Not dinner. Beware of girls asking you to take them to dinner. Sit at the bar, make her feel comfortable, touch her thigh, shoulder, and back. Make her laugh. Do your thing.

If you're meeting her out at the bars, ask her to buy you a drink.

If that's too much effort (not a lot of girls are worth leaving the house for), invite her over/go to her place for wine/drinks. "Netflix & chill" is a real thing.

If you're done talking to these girls, don't "break up" with them. You were never official. Slowly stop responding until you're both on the same page. Some people hate it, but it's effective and keeps you two on good terms.

Be good looking.

You can thank me later.
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DKC shortygonletmecrush

Sep 21, 2015
"Don't be hypnotized by attractiveness. If she sucks at messaging, she probably sucks in real life."

@JFK so f---ing true.

I used tinder for a bit last fall, there were a few girls I was making plans to meet with but then I started dating my girlfriend so I just deleted the app and stopped texting back and it was fine. Thankfully most sane people get the picture fast which is a nice thing about the app/culture of it. There was one girl who got mad at me for not snapchatting her for a few days when she'd seen I'd been on tinder since. Avoid people like that, s--- is mad clingy and makes it clear they don't know how to socialize IRL.

I got it mostly as a social experiment/game to see what kind of weird s--- girls will respond to in different parts of the country cuz I was on a road trip at the time. One girl wanted to meet with me while I was at my grandpas house in PA but I told her no her because I was watching TCM with my grandpa lolololol. I think I have some funny screenshots saved on my computer, I'll check when I get home.

#39

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Jordan ⛴⛵️✈️

Sep 14, 2015
@JFK I'mma mention you since quoting you would result in unnecessary thread length.

Here is a trophy for the post of the month/year/maybe even more. That effort, holy s---.

No irony dude, sell that post to a journalist and earn some money with those tips.

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Mike Tyson big cuntry's alias

Sep 14, 2015
jk im cute

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Sep 14, 2015
Lmao @AnalOnFirstDate you're the goat bruh. "Sit on my face and I'll eat my way to your heart", "I have impeccable aim". You're right though, the girls on there are just waiting to be hit on so don't take yourself too seriously, be outgoing and you might just get lucky.

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Chad Warden As Ballin As Possible

Sep 14, 2015
Chad Warden's kinda oldschool. It comes from Chad's lack of trust for people, he can't get past the facade part, which is why he's stuck to girls he's met in real life. Social events, parties, random bump ins, work, Chad Daddy's at his A(bap)-game when there's no B.S.

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Slyk God made a prophet.

Jul 2, 2017

Coco the Vageater said

i keep tellibg people Australia is the greatest country jn the world, thanks for showing unbiased proof of the greatness that is Australia
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your girls really are the best
sucker for that accent.

#131

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RetiredAccount Big Time Stuntin Like My Daddy

Jul 2, 2017

Slyk said

bumble is s--- tbh. the interface is way better, but there's days that i could swipe all day on there without a single match. i'm not that ugly fam... i think they're struggling to have an active userbase, so they show old inactive accounts 90% of the time...i've seen some female friends on there who have said they uninstalled the app 6 months ago.

bumble tricks you into thinking it's best because they stack the top of the deck with all of the girls who have been most-swiped on in the area...making you think that every user is a model.

/rant
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yeah, I get 10x more matches on Tinder vs Bumble. Stopped using bumble because no one is ever active on there.

#123

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SHUDEYE Kerser is the sickest.

Jul 2, 2017
Got my first Tinder f--- last night.

#121

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Jun 1, 2017

Worm said

These type of messages are really boring and generic. It's like you're a telemarketer reading your company pre approved pitch to people you're cold calling. I try to keep messages funny and entertaining as long as I can. She probably gets the same messages from the other 100 guys she just matched with. Ghosting is normal. It will happen to you and you'll do it to others. Competition is tough out in these online streets
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Yeah the initial 'what do you like to do for fun' was alright, but following that up with 'me too' is awful because you're not really giving her anything back to respond with. The 'how long you gonna be there' is where he lost it.

(One of) Timmy's mistakes with these chicks is he structures the convos off of small talk as if he and the girl have known each other. Gotta keep s--- interesting when you're talking to a girl for the first time, especially on tinder where there's tons of other guys hitting her up.

#101

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JFK Bleach on my t-shirt

Oct 13, 2015

Poohdini said

I'd like to nominate every one of @JFK posts in this thread for the HOF
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#55

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JFK Bleach on my t-shirt
Oct 13, 2015

TimmyT said

i don't understand women, but the one thing i know for sure is that a cute or better looking female (which there's no shortage of, there's PLENTY of them) is not going to have trouble finding a guy who wants to date/spend time/ be with her. so with that being said, it puzzles me that tinder has alllllll these attractive women on it and somehow NONE of them have boyfriends. that boggles my mind.

now i've used tinder for a while, so i know SOME of the accounts are bots/spam. however, many of them are REAL accounts and yet somehow none of these attractive women have guys. or maybe some of them already do have a guy and they're just using it for entertainment purposes/to get attention.......i don't know.

but do you understand what i'm getting at?
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Like I said, women aren't necessarily using Tinder to find a boyfriend. They use it because it's fun. It's full of weirdos and maybe, just maybe, they'll find prince charming.

There are different kinds of attractive women (and people, everyone is different):

Some want boyfriends and find them quickly.

Some binge-watch The Bachelorette and now have unrealistic expectations of men.

Some are f---ing crazy and can't keep a boyfriend for more than a week.

Some are more shy than you are when it comes to the opposite sex.

Some have spent the last 3 years partying for free and blowing DJs.

Some are content with being single and use Tinder solely to receive compliments from desperate guys.

Most join "just to see what Tinder is all about".

Hardly any of these woman are expecting to actually meet someone worthwhile. They want a quick laugh. They want to screenshot weird conversations and show their friends. However, you're now in their phone. You're now in their life. You now have the opportunity to entertain this girl enough to the point where she legitimately wants to get to know you. It's all about confidence, wit, and standing out.

More importantly, it's your job to weed out the women who aren't worth your time. Out of the all girls I've matched with on Tinder, only a handful have been worth meeting (for more than a booty call). Every girl is different and unique enough to talk to (or send ridiculous messages to) for at least a day, which is why Tinder is more about entertainment than dating, even from your perspective.
Last edited: Oct 13, 2015

#52

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Poohdini MVP MVP

Sep 14, 2015

JFK said

Thinking about writing a Tinder book. You guys get free copies.
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No doubt it would fly off the shelves. It's an essential app for every male 18+ tbh.

Edit. The picture rules were perfect, and girls need to follow them as well. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a profile pic of 3 girls, had to click her profile and scroll through 5 more pics just to find out that she's the ugly one.

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Michael Myers Moderator

Sep 14, 2015

AnalOnFirstDate said

Its better if I put the lines in context with the whole convo

Dont have my phone on me right now but these are some that span back a few months ago. Just be forward and cheeky, these girls are advertising their punanis on a superficial app FFS, don't even do that take it slow shiit or give them the. Didnt smash but got all of these girls numbers, this is just an example

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I was expecting for your username to make an appearance tbh

#13

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AnalOnFirstDate said

My go to line is 'i wna leave jus da nuts hangin out', I came up with it randomly after watching hodetwin videos and don't ask me how or why but it fukin works like a charm.

Try it and report back.
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Haha that's great. I was expecting you to come back with an "anal on the 1st date?" line for sure.

#11

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