Jan 28, 2017

a swan almost f----- me up once but I threw my bike at it

 

Jan 25, 2017

I tried so hard not to ask that question. Dude has a nuclear powerplant in his kitchen

 

Jan 25, 2017

Wtf what kind of microwave do you have?
I've never heard of anything like this.

 

Jan 25, 2017

I unintentionally Matrix dodged a magpie the day before yesterday I was setting up the garden hose and just as I turned around it flew by my head

 

Jan 25, 2017

komodo dragons are legit alphas , they have venemous glands, are fast as f--- and have a dangerous tail that can whip you to death

 

Jan 25, 2017

these guys have balls of steel, adult male lions reach 400-500lbs in their prime and would k--- any human with ease.

 

Jan 25, 2017

nah

 

Jan 25, 2017

lol @ thinking you'd have the balls to stomp that pythons head, what if he catches your leg as you're doing so? Then you're f-----, or what if you don't do it hard enough so it doesn't k--- him and you just piss him off more.

I see that thing I'm running outta there and maybe hopping some walls and fences if need be, f--- a fight.

 

Jan 25, 2017

ima r--- u buffalo

 

Jan 25, 2017

 

Jan 25, 2017

@Coco sucks to live in Aussie. No true threats here besides bears and snakes.

You guys have dinosaurs and f---ing mutant kangaroos.

 

Jan 25, 2017

get this, crocodiles weigh like i dunno f---ing heaps. but cause they weigh so much, they only have enough energy to go for like 1 k--- per day (if it requires effort) so basically they sit still in the sun, charging up their power, so that if say a human walks by, this 1 tonne c---- will chase you, outrun you and eat you. they can run for about 2 minutes, faster than a human.

this is the croc i saw, "Cassius" the fucken dinosaur (largest croc in captivity, since Lolong died in indonesia or wherever the f--- it was)
weighs like 1.1 tonnes and is pushing 8 metres long.

(this pic is old though and that piss poor enclosure is now pretty much a 4 metre high prison cell. i'm gonna take a wild guess and assume he likely took a chunk out of that old c---- arma t some point. either way, they don't go into Cassius' enclosure unless they absolutely have to now. they feed him via lowering a leg of fucken ham sized chunk of meat into the enclosure and the c---- roars and fucken swallows it. )

The largest recorded one in queensland though to my knowledge was this c---- from years ago. fucken 8.6 metres. that's a fucken dinosaur mate.


then theres this character, i think he's pushing for 7.5 metres, but he always shows up for the saltwater croc tours in far north queensland. c---- been alive for over 50 years and its missing a leg.



annnnnd not sure how true it is, but people from Far North Queensland who go croc hunting etc, say there's 8 metre crocs around all over the place but they do nothing about them because they weigh so fucken much and are just too big to f--- with in terms of killing/getting onto a boat/transporting.

 

Jan 24, 2017

bruh komodo dragons are f---ing savage:

Komodo dragons eat by tearing large chunks of flesh and swallowing them whole while holding the carcass down with their forelegs. For smaller prey up to the size of a goat, their loosely articulated jaws, flexible skulls, and expandable stomachs allow them to swallow prey whole. The vegetable contents of the stomach and intestines are typically avoided.[26] Copious amounts of red saliva the Komodo dragons produce help to lubricate the food, but swallowing is still a long process (15–20 minutes to swallow a goat). A Komodo dragon may attempt to speed up the process by ramming the carcass against a tree to force it down its throat, sometimes ramming so forcefully, the tree is knocked down.

 

Jan 24, 2017

not sure if glad aborigines destroyed this creature, or upset i'll never get to see a real life one and possibly go toe-to-toe with fighting a wingless dragon

 

Jan 24, 2017

was actually about to post this pic lol. but yeah monitors are c---- when you go camping cause they try get into your esky's and eat your bait and food and s---. basically in the animal kingdom tho u need a sign over your head saying "im the alpha, i'm the top of the food chain" and dont b---- it and theyll f--- off fast as cause scared. like two examples

saw one trying to climb into the esky while camping yelled "OI" then sprinted at it full speed, it ran off as soon as i got near it.

another time while out of state and hiking to some crystal clear beach, one was on the path infront of us, so i walked near it and it lunged at me/the group. so the group stepped back like "oh s---!" i didn't move and kicked its tail, it did like a full 360 and stared at me, so i kicked its head and it ran off (i didnt kick it hard, before any of you PETA faggits say i'm some kind of monster)

 

Jan 24, 2017

why godzilla real

 

Jan 24, 2017

i swear that shark encounter has made me almost resistant 100% to fear. like most people if a bird swoops they duck into a ball, but i form a fist and try to punch it... also those big f--- lizards too, i walk up and kick their tails so they f--- off, most people are like "HOLY s--- A FUCKEN DRAGON!"

 

Jan 24, 2017

Don't judge snuggle kittens off a few rabid kunts man

 

Jan 24, 2017

The Cool Cats weren't f---ing with you I see...

I neever f----- with cats for this reason. Fake as h---. Well, you messed with a stray (questionable even at age 13) but in general they are cunning and can't trust them.

 

Jan 24, 2017

Was petting a stray cat that came up onto our porch when i was like 13, and it rolled over for me to pet its belly, so I obliged. Bad idea...

It responded by immediately clawing my wrist so f---ing hard it looked like I just got done slitting it. I freaked out and ran inside. And of course, being alone at home without a cell phone at the time, I had no idea what to do, cause it was deep and it stung like a mother f---er and it was bleeding bad. In the end I finally ran to the bathroom to try and wash it out and throw a band-aid on it and called it a day.