Nov 13, 2017 My dealer saw my d-ck. I was waiting to buy valiums off him and was on my phone. Then he pulls up and I get in his car and somehow with the phone unlocked I must've opened up a photo of my d-ck on my phone. I still had my phone in my hand and I saw him glance but didn't think much of it. Then when I looked at my phone it had my c--- in full view and I closed it and gave him the money all casual. I'm not sure if he thinks it's my d-ck or I have a picture of someone else's d-ck on my phone and I'm not sure which one is worse Speaking of having someone else's d-ck on your phone, I still have TPK's weird looking prick saved so I'm glad it didn't open on that at least
Nov 13, 2017 -thought a guy was cute at work, found out he was way younger than me and now I sit watching my non-single co-worker flirt with him. She asked him was he a virgin. -my ex is still friends with people of my family, we aren't friendly and I had to walk past him after a baby shower and it was dead silent and I felt his glare on me -my younger brother showed me Sonic the Hedgehog p--- our then step-brother was watching on his tablet... ......I got plenty......
Nov 13, 2017 I've legit hopped into a stangers car. It was at night time so it was dark, I was waiting for a mate to pick me up but some other car was on to top of my drive way, I thought maybe one of our other teammates whos car I havent seen before might have picked us up... Nope it was a pretty hot girl. Hopped in, sat down, stood there trying to process what just happened, hopped out without saying a word....
Nov 15, 2017 Should've showed your trademark Jakey charm and sealed the deal with this anonymous chick.
Nov 18, 2017 So I had a public speaking class one time, and over the course of the semester we had to deliver 3 or 4 different speeches over different topics Well, the 2nd or 3rd speech was something like, people who inspire you or whatever So this white guy in my class chooses John Lennon. Alright cool. So little background, there was two african american students in the class dude talks about Lennon for a few minutes and then starts getting into his music, brings up this track I forgot the name. Said it was very controversial for the time or something Dude goes into the lyrics...turns out this track says something like "women are the n---- of the world", this guy talks about this line and what it means for minutes while explictly using the hard r N word you could hear a pen drop it was very awkward EDIT: I just looked it up, the track is actually called Women are the n---- of the world
Nov 18, 2017 Reminds me of a story that's kinda off-topic but I'ma tell it anyway. Once when I was in high school I was drinking at a park with a few of my friends. It was like 12-1 AM and we had all finished our beers and were thinking about heading home. We all went our separate ways and I started walking (I lived about a mile away from the park), and not too long after a car pulled up to me and an attractive woman who was probably around 20-25 years old asked me if I wanted a ride. I was pretty f----- up but coherent (I'd drank a six pack of tall cans and one of those fat 24 oz cans of Fosters cuz I was in high school and thought they looked cool), but as a drunk 16-year-old I said yes because when you're 16 you do anything for attention from an attractive woman (especially an older one). I got in and buckled my seatbelt and we started talking. I can't really remember what about but she seemed kinda odd and I started regretting my decision cuz I began to realize she was pretty drunk too. I was giving her directions to my house and as we got to this big hill (like four or five blocks straight downhill) I directed her down it, then she reached over and unbuckled my seatbelt and said "NO SEATBELTS" and then hit the gas hard. She must have been going 60 in a residential neighborhood I swear, I thought I was gonna die. Luckily my house was just a few blocks after the hill. She let me out and said "now I know where you live" and sped off. I never saw her again.