Mar 18, 2016 http://www.complex.com/style/2014/10/shia-labeouf-style-icon/ When celebrities f--- up, they have to repent and they have to repent in the form of a tell-all interview on television. This is a time-honored tradition dating back to the dark ages of TV (idk, like, the '90s?) and, depending on the type of celebrity and severity of their transgressions, the interview can come in many different forms. If you're Charlie Sheen, you have to pay for being a buck a--- psychotic cokehead who invents dumb catchphrases by talking to ABC for an excruciating hour-long special. If you're Lil Wayne and your only crime is being benignly on drugs, excessively strange and insanely popular, yet unpalatable to mainstream America, you end up with Katie Couric. If you're Vanilla Ice, Jon Stewart lets you smash an entire soundstage with a baseball bat. And if you'reShia LaBeouf, well, you get Ellen. Now, first thing's first: Shia LaBeouf is a famous person whose name is extremely hard to pronounce. This means that America has decided he was a genuinely talented actor and despite his insane, conventionally unbankable name, he was worth caring about to the point where he would get really famous. Knowing that America has a lot of hope in your acting abilities must be sort of a mindfuck and it has, throughout the years, caused Shia LaBeouf to occasionally act a g.d. fool. Late last week, he appeared in front of the high priestess of daytime television to atone for his laundry list of sins, which include, but are not limited to: wearing a paper bag over his face on the red carpet, letting people be mean to him for the sake of art, drunk driving, spitting on a cop, declaring his Twitter account was meta performance art and, in 2007, getting arrested for being drunk in a Walgreens. I dunno about some of that s---, but, honestly, who amongst us can't say they were f----- up in a Walgreens before? Those s----s are open 24 hours. Sometimes you're drunk and need snacks. And, sometimes, a Walgreens is the only place to feed the beast that is your drunk stomach. Anyways, Shia LaBeowulf (that’s what his friends call him, yes, I'm Shia LaBeouf's friend) sat in front of Ellen and America and calmly, but firmly explained all of this away. And he did it while looking like a g.d. champ, wearing a dull green sweater that seemed to say, "I have read books!" and sporting a beard that definitely said, "I have read MANY books!" This isn't the first time Shia LaBeouf has descended from upon high to casually sneeze a metric f----liter of sartorial knowledge upon the unsuspecting sheeple of America. If you need more proof, please start scrolling through the gallery above featuing a variety of Shia LaBeouf's dopest alphets that prove, in addition to being a sorta-kinda-probably crazy person, he's also sorta-kinda-probably good at putting on clothes in the morning. Drew Millard wrote this while ghostwriting Jaden Smith's dream journal. You can read more of his work on Noisey and follow him on Twitter here. 1. shialead 2. shia1 I have seen this exact floral look at probably 30 indie rap concerts in the past two years or so. Louis Stevens was the original hypebeast. 3. shia13 Ah, the classic. Shia warming up for his morning stuntery. On this particular morning, the air was crisp and the haters were particularly salty, but they both were no match for Shia LaBeouf's purple tights, seafoam green hoodie and extremely flexible groin muscles. 4. shia3 Little known Hollywood fact: Shia LaBeouf's Strokes T-shirt was so integral to the branding of the original Transformers movie that Julian Casablancas got a writing credit on the film despite still being unaware that someone made a bunch ofTransformers movies. 5. shia4 The time when a celebrity transitions from child star to full-blown adult star is a difficult one. Growing up in public is hard and can often lead to the world knowing about your regrettable actions, such as taking up smoking to look cool, deciding to be in a bad Alfred Hitchcock remake and wearing whatever the f--- that hat is. 6. shia5 What's crazy about this photo is that it actually isn't a still from that shittyIndiana Jones movie Shia LaBeouf was in. This is an actual picture from the 1950s that was taken after Shia invented a time machine and went way the f--- back in time just to stunt. "Don't mind me, just on my way to steal your girl on this dope motorcycle lmao." - Shia LaBeouf, time traveler. 7. shia6 While cargo pants/combat boots/Bud Light shirt might not be the look, it's definitely a look and you've got to admire Shia Lebeouf for sticking to his guns on this one. 8. shia7 UGGS. THAT IS ALL. 9. shia12 PEAK LABEOUF. 10. shia8 Honestly, how do we even know this one was Shia? This could be MF Doom for all we know #staywoke. 11. shia9 I can't front, I also sort of have this beard. 12. shia10 Nothing says "high-fashion" and "critical thinking skills" like a Che Guevera tee from Hot Topic. Everyone knows this. If for some reason I'm wrong and you actually didn't already know this, then I'm super glad I got to be the one to break it down for you. 13. shia11 Perhaps, all things in life are predestined. Perhaps, Shia LaBeouf sporting a man bun was inevitable. Perhaps, I was doomed to author this article. Perhaps, Shia LaBeouf will k--- me for writing this. Perhaps, that's the sickest way to die.
