Jan 7, 2018

The Slim Shady LP
As the World Turns

Deformed fool, taking a s--- in a warm pool

My Fault

"He's in the bathroom; I think he's taking a crap, dude!"

The Marshall Mathers LP
The Way I Am

And I can't take a s--- in the bathroom without someone standing by it!

The Real Slim Shady

And whether you like to admit it err I just s--- itbetter than 90% of you rappers out there

Devil's Night
s--- on You

You weren't listening, I said I'll cop a squat on you / Start spilling my guts like chicken cordon bleu

The Eminem Show

Say What You Say

Fake s---, if I ever take s--- I'll eat s---

Encore
My 1st Single

But s---'s about to hit the shingle, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-no

Just Lose it

Like TP for my bunghole
And it's cool if you let one go
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?
Give a little "poot poot", it's OK! [Fart Sound]
Oops my CD just skipped
And everyone just heard you let one rip

Relapse
Elevator

And use a leaf to wipe up the crap stains, feck it

f---in-A, even got a bidet to wash my a--- after I s--- with gold toilet paper

Recovery
Won't Back Down

I'm a s--- stain on the underwear of life

Shake your booty shorty, I'm the s--- / Why you think Proof used to call me Doody?

Not Afraid

Quit playing with the scissors and s--- and cut the crap.

Almost Famous

And tell that psycho to pass the torch / To the wacko before I take a s--- in his Jack-O-Lantern / And smash it on his porch

Untitled

Y’all are so motherfuckin’ full of s--- that you stopped up / Me, I’m always shittin' diarrhea of the mouth / 'Til your speakers crap out pfft huh, what?

Comes straight from the fish's a--- / Yeah, in other words, I’m a bass-turd

On Fire

You couldn't make a bulimic puke / On a piece of f---in' corn and peanut poop

So Bad

With a er-chicker-chicker-chcka I can't call it, same s--- different toilet

The Marshall Mathers LP 2
Bad Guy

Toilet's clogged, yeah cause I'm talking a lot of s---, but I'm backing it all up

Survival

I just sh---ed on the mic

I'm stabbin' myself with a f---in' knife in the gut
While I'm wipin' my BUTT

Groundhog Day

The way I choose words is loose, but you turdsbetter be careful how you choose yours

So Far...

Thirty minutes from home, gotta lay a log cabin / Only option I have's McDonalds's bathroom / In a public stall, droppin' a football / So every time someone walks in the john I get maddened / "Shady, what up?" What? Come on, man, I'm crappin' / And you're askin' for my g.d. autograph on a napkin? / Oh, that's odd, I just happened / To run out of tissue, yeah, hand me that / On second thought I'd be glad then / "Thanks, dawg! Name's Todd, a big fan." I wiped my a--- with it / Crumbled it up in a wad and threw it back and / Told him: "Todd, you're the s---," when's all of this crap end?"

Revival
Believe

The world force-fed a turd to me, you're getting yours

River

Actually, just s--- on my last chick and she has what my ex lacks

Tragic Endings

Since I'm manure, she's a sewer
And this time this piece of s---'s running through her

Offended

Cause I swear when I get up, I'm never gonna let up till everybody eats my turds

Remind Me

Your booty is heavy duty like diarrhea

Chloraseptic (Remix)

But what the f--- have I awoke to?
Time to eat the vocals and s--- out Pro Tools
I know you still want me to ill out, don't you?


Other
Where I'm At (Lloyd Banks)

Why do I hear the sound of toilets flushing? / Some s--- is going down

Fly Away (Unreleased)

One for the money, two for the show, my s--- don't stink, I don't think so

Best Friend (Yelawolf)

Dawg, I'm the truth, like Biggie rockin' with 2Pac in a suit Talkin' to Proof droppin' a deuce

Peep Show

We gon' f---, I just popped this little blue pill
You can leave but wait, I gotta s--- on you still *phbbt*

All I Think About

But one thing I never mind’s getting called Elvis all the time
In the articles that you write which is why I never reply, cause he died shi--ing

Take From Me

I'm so done with this s--- I may as well wipe

A Kiss

I'm gonna put this s--- in park like dog s---

Throw it Up

what a trailer trash pioneer?
i am yeah, that's why i'm here
i don't got a rhyme book it's more like a muthaf-ckin' diary of diarrhea!

Caterpillar

Number one, but my pencils are number twos
'Cause that's all I dos with 'em, poop is my pseudonym
On the john like a prostitute when I'm droppin' a deuce
And when I'm producing them lyrical bowel movements
These beats are like my saloons
'Cause these bars always got my stools in 'em
And I don't need Metamucil to loosen 'em
b----, s--- is real like I pooped Jerusalem



*****ALL - IF YOU ADD ONE I MISSED BELOW, I'LL LIKE YOUR POST TO INDICATE IT HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE OFFICIAL LIST*****

 

Jan 7, 2018

 

Jan 7, 2018

He's been obsessed with s--- punchlines ever since his comeback.

 

Jan 7, 2018

Forgot the most clever of them all

QUITPLAYINWITHESCISSORSNSHIT

 

Jan 7, 2018

I think we needed this.

Relapse didn't have any s---/fart/toilet pubs??

 

Jan 7, 2018

Put this s--- in park like dogshit

I'm so done with this s--- I may as well wipe

 

Jan 7, 2018

J. Cole probably bumps these songs before writing his own.

 

Dec 17, 2020

Tbh we should be over here rn predicting how many poo references he'll make in side B lmao

 

May 4, 2018

Do Skits count? Boy I'm sure Ken Kaniff sh---ed on some

 

May 3, 2018

Wow only one poopy reference on Eminem show. Best eminem album confirmed.

 

Jan 8, 2018

But what the f--- have I awoke to?
Time to eat the vocals and s--- out Pro Tools
I know you still want me to ill out, don't you?

 

Jan 7, 2018

Oh god


Ding ding we have a winner

 

Jan 7, 2018

That guest verse from Yellow Wolf's first album. I don't think I ever listened to it but I definitely remember the Diahrea Diary Thread it motivated @Swizz to make.

 

Jan 7, 2018

Like TP for my bunghole
And it's cool if you let one go
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?
Give a little "poot poot", it's OK! [Fart Sound]
Oops my CD just skipped
And everyone just heard you let one rip

 

Jan 7, 2018

The sad thing is there's probably many more s--- lines that aren't included in here.

 

Jan 7, 2018

https://forum.sectioneighty.com/lukes-official-list-of-j-coles-fart-lines.t28717