Jul 18, 2021

I don't know if some of you noticed how differently birds behave in the city compared to quieter regions like the countryside.

On the countryside birds usually stay far away from humans. And if you try to approach one it will usually fly away. But in the city? They don't give a single f---.

They'll be chillin on the sidewalk and even if they see you coming they barely even move. Sometimes they'll fly off right in your face and you basically have to duck not to get hit.

I recently moved to a populated city and decided to try out a fast food joint. I heard they had some really good burgers.

It's a nice day so I take my food outside and sit at one of the tables to eat my burger. 15 seconds later this little f---er comes flying out of nowhere and lands on the edge of my table. It just stays there staring at my burger as i eat it. Literally just 3 feet in front of me.

This bird is being agressive af, jumping around, staring at me. Flying down to my feet, flying back on my table giving me this stare like it's about to jump on my burger as i'm eating it.

So i throw a pickle on the ground hoping he would go for it but he doesn't want it. He continues to stare at me like he's seen this tactic before from other humans. This crazy little f---er didn't want a piece of my burger i just threw on the ground. He wanted the burger in my hands.

I started eating faster because this bird is stressing f--- out of me, being aggressive and kept staring like he ran the place. I had to keep an eye on him because I felt that if I broke eye contact he would jump right at my hands.

As i'm finishing up his little friend comes flying down to my table as well. I was done so I bounced. But as i'm leaving I hear this mother comforting her scared child "It's okay, it's gone now".

Wtf is wrong with these birds? People need to start showing em whos boss.

 

Jul 18, 2021

Also the burger was soggy and condiments leaked everywhere. Overrated place.

Overall experience 4/10. Would not eat again.

 

Jul 18, 2021

I recommend seeing a GP and having them reccomend you to a psychiatrist, it sounds like you have undiagnosed aspergers or may be on the spectrum.

 

Jul 18, 2021

Yeah this is clearly just one big lie. Giving me The Happy Chemical vibes who used to make up random stories based of tv shows he’s watched and make out like they really happened to him.

Of all the things you choose to lie about you chose wild city birds. Step it up

 

Jul 22, 2021

I've heard @Ordinary Joel is bird expert, so he can explain you those birds behavior

 

Jul 22, 2021

 

Jul 22, 2021

 

Jul 22, 2021

My sister's husband is scared of birds. Like he will run away screaming if a f---ing sparrow goes near him.

I live in London so pigeons are perfectly normal to me. Still duck if one flies at my head though. Kamikaze little f---ers.

 

Jul 22, 2021

Those kamikaze f---ers are annoying as h---. Also I got shat on so many times it's unreal.

 

Jul 22, 2021

Seagulls are outta control in my city lately. They behave like f---ing raptors or smthn, they prey on poor pidgeons, carry them around and f---in massacre them on the floor, disgusting af

 

Jul 22, 2021

I saw a seagull attack and eat another bird once. Was f-----!

 

Jul 22, 2021

To brighten your day up Ill say I saw a cat murder a seagul a few days ago, there's a lot of those in my city

 

Jul 22, 2021

That set me up for a racist joke about Asian people, but I'm not gonna say it.

You really hate cats? These assholes are lovely tho, I own one and I can't imagine not having one at all

 

Jul 22, 2021

"demon assholes" lmao