Apr 21, 2018 I was talking to my girl about how her friend's dad was abusive. That led to this conversation about whether the effects an abusive father are worse than the effects a father who was never there leave. Having "daddy issues" is something that comes from both types of fathers imo. The women here would have better insight on the subject as the father is the most important person in a females upbringing @shahidah @QueenOfTheDead @Mimi @Somethin Wicked
Apr 21, 2018 Abusive is worse. Harder to recover from it Personally I use my father as motivation. Grow from it. No point in letting it hold me back
Apr 21, 2018 Abusive. You get really conflicted and start to doubt yourself if they care or not and why they are abusive. With an absent father you have questions but you aren't mindfucked on a regular basis over it, it's more of a permanent kind of thing.
Apr 21, 2018 Being a dad is hard work. Most people aren't good at being a dad, or they don't want to bother. So it's better not to have a father at all if he's a shithead or is abusive and has no idea what he's doing. I didn't have one growing up and it was tough. I had to learn a lot of stuff myself, stuff that dad's are supposed to teach you. But, I'm glad things turned out the way they did. I got to decide who I want to be and had no one pushing me around and telling me what I should to be.
Apr 21, 2018 Most people I know with absentee fathers turned out fine. Most people I know with abusive fathers did not. edit: or rather than saying they didn't turn out fine I should say they had a lot more issues to deal with to become OK with themselves
Apr 21, 2018 Just based on most of the data I've ever recorded at work, definitely Abusive. A lot more turmoil, traumatic disorders and aggressive behavior that's become imprinted into the person's subconscious whether they realize it or not.
Apr 21, 2018 Hey guys what's worse. A friend who slits your throat or a friend who doesn't show up when they said they would?
Apr 21, 2018 An abusive father is worse. They can leave you with trust issues and low self-esteem. You may even pick up some of their bad habits and internalize their behavior. As mentioned above, most folks I know who grew up without a father turned out fine, because a dedicated mother can play both roles or keep you in close proximity to other good male role models.
