The Slim Shady LP
As the World Turns

Deformed fool, taking a shit in a warm pool

My Fault

"He's in the bathroom; I think he's taking a crap, dude!"

The Marshall Mathers LP
The Way I Am

And I can't take a shit in the bathroom without someone standing by it!

The Real Slim Shady

And whether you like to admit it err I just shit itbetter than 90% of you rappers out there

Devil's Night
Shit on You

You weren't listening, I said I'll cop a squat on you / Start spilling my guts like chicken cordon bleu

The Eminem Show

Say What You Say

Fake shit, if I ever take shit I'll eat shit

Encore
My 1st Single

But shit's about to hit the shingle, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-no

Just Lose it

Like TP for my bunghole
And it's cool if you let one go
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?
Give a little "poot poot", it's OK! [Fart Sound]
Oops my CD just skipped
And everyone just heard you let one rip

Relapse
Elevator

And use a leaf to wipe up the crap stains, feck it

f--king-A, even got a bidet to wash my ass after I shit with gold toilet paper

Recovery
Won't Back Down

I'm a shit stain on the underwear of life

Shake your booty shorty, I'm the shit / Why you think Proof used to call me Doody?

Not Afraid

Quit playing with the scissors and shit and cut the crap.

Almost Famous

And tell that psycho to pass the torch / To the wacko before I take a shit in his Jack-O-Lantern / And smash it on his porch

Untitled

Y’all are so motherfuckin’ full of shit that you stopped up / Me, I’m always shittin' diarrhea of the mouth / 'Til your speakers crap out pfft huh, what?

Comes straight from the fish's ass / Yeah, in other words, I’m a bass-turd

On Fire

You couldn't make a bulimic puke / On a piece of f--king' corn and peanut poop

So Bad

With a er-chicker-chicker-chcka I can't call it, same shit different toilet

The Marshall Mathers LP 2
Bad Guy

Toilet's clogged, yeah cause I'm talking a lot of shit, but I'm backing it all up

Survival

I just shitted on the mic

I'm stabbin' myself with a f--king' knife in the gut
While I'm wipin' my BUTT

Groundhog Day

The way I choose words is loose, but you turdsbetter be careful how you choose yours

So Far...

Thirty minutes from home, gotta lay a log cabin / Only option I have's McDonalds's bathroom / In a public stall, droppin' a football / So every time someone walks in the john I get maddened / "Shady, what up?" What? Come on, man, I'm crappin' / And you're askin' for my goddamn autograph on a napkin? / Oh, that's odd, I just happened / To run out of tissue, yeah, hand me that / On second thought I'd be glad then / "Thanks, dawg! Name's Todd, a big fan." I wiped my ass with it / Crumbled it up in a wad and threw it back and / Told him: "Todd, you're the shit," when's all of this crap end?"

Revival
Believe

The world force-fed a turd to me, you're getting yours

River

Actually, just shit on my last chick and she has what my ex lacks

Tragic Endings

Since I'm manure, she's a sewer
And this time this piece of shit's running through her

Offended

Cause I swear when I get up, I'm never gonna let up till everybody eats my turds

Remind Me

Your booty is heavy duty like diarrhea

Chloraseptic (Remix)

But what the f--k have I awoke to?
Time to eat the vocals and shit out Pro Tools
I know you still want me to ill out, don't you?


Other
Where I'm At (Lloyd Banks)

Why do I hear the sound of toilets flushing? / Some shit is going down

Fly Away (Unreleased)

One for the money, two for the show, my shit don't stink, I don't think so

Best Friend (Yelawolf)

Dawg, I'm the truth, like Biggie rockin' with 2Pac in a suit Talkin' to Proof droppin' a deuce

Peep Show

We gon' f--k, I just popped this little blue pill
You can leave but wait, I gotta shit on you still *phbbt*

All I Think About

But one thing I never mind’s getting called Elvis all the time
In the articles that you write which is why I never reply, cause he died shitting

Take From Me

I'm so done with this shit I may as well wipe

A Kiss

I'm gonna put this shit in park like dog shit

Throw it Up

what a trailer trash pioneer?
i am yeah, that's why i'm here
i don't got a rhyme book it's more like a muthaf-ckin' diary of diarrhea!

*****ALL - IF YOU ADD ONE I MISSED BELOW, I'LL LIKE YOUR POST TO INDICATE IT HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE OFFICIAL LIST*****

 

He's been obsessed with shit punchlines ever since his comeback.

 

I think we needed this.

Relapse didn't have any shit/fart/toilet pubs??

 

I think there was a fart in We Made You.

 

Don't forget the best one off Peep Show

You makin me feel like I'm in middle school still
You squeal like a little girl, you're pitiful, chill
We gon' f--k, I just popped this little blue pill
You can leave but wait, I gotta shit on you still *phbbt*

 

I never heard it but anything from 2004-2007 is trash.

 

OP updated.

 

J. Cole probably bumps these songs before writing his own.

 

https://forum.sectioneighty.com/lukes-official-list-of-j-coles-fart-lines.t28717

 

The sad thing is there's probably many more shit lines that aren't included in here.

 

Forgot the most clever of them all

QUITPLAYINWITHESCISSORSNSHIT

 

OP updated.

 

Like TP for my bunghole
And it's cool if you let one go
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?
Give a little "poot poot", it's OK! [Fart Sound]
Oops my CD just skipped
And everyone just heard you let one rip

 

I'm stabbin' myself with a f--king' knife in the gut
While I'm wipin' my BUTT

 

OP Updated

 

@Ron Burgundy

Fake shit, if I ever take shit I'll eat shit

 

Put this shit in park like dogshit

I'm so done with this shit I may as well wipe

 

I can't decide which is worse, the Doody line or "while wiping my butt." Both are strong contenders for worst rap lyrics ever.